Dream
You are a dreamy person.
Well, everyone is, really. Everyone has dreams, most of them unremarkable. Some they remember and dream again and again. People often explore their dreams, travelling far and wide, or maybe just making their home in a little niche. Sometimes they add new things to their dreams.
However, everyone seems to agree that, by far, the best thing to do with your dream is to share it with another person. Sure, they might not like it for one reason or another or no reason, but it is worth the risk to have someone dreaming the same dream, exploring and making with you.
If the dream is good enough, you share it with lots of people and make a community. Some of the best dreams are ones that have been built up by hundreds, or even thousands of people over years, or even decades.
One of your classmates at school shares a dream with you. She says it wasn’t her dream originally, that it’s one of the “community” dreams. You’re intrigued, so you try it.
You start out in her little niche. It’s pretty cool.
And then you start exploring.
OH MY MORALITY.
Why does she stay in that little space? You wonder this as you survey this dream. There’s SO MUCH in it! So many things that people have made, so much in the dream naturally. A gigantic community, more cool information than you can quantify. Amazing music, amazing art, amazing… Well, you should probably stop gushing about it, as you can’t even express it properly. And this is your first night.
Over the next six days, you dream that Dream, which you have now capitalized. You can’t wait to tell the friend who introduced you to it about what you saw. When you see her again, you-
She knows that all that exists. She doesn’t care about it. Her niche is her whole dream.
That’s what you find out, talking to her again. You are crushed. Who will you share this with? One of your other friends? Yes, you’ll introduce it to them, and then they’ll see the Dream like you do, and explore it with you. It’ll be amazing.
But as you recommend it to each of your friends, none of them likes it. “It just isn’t my thing.” “Cool. [switches topic].” “I don’t really understand…” It must be a problem with your introduction. Yes, that’s it. You refine it, taking out rough points. Still, you are alone.
Over the months, you explore the Dream more. It looks even more beautiful than when you first discovered it. You are obsessed, honestly, so much that you find it starting to invade your waking life. Since people are starting to get annoyed when you bring it up all the time in conversation, you write about it. Still unsatisfactory. You are torn between love for the Dream and the horrible loneliness. The love always wins out, but the loneliness is never truly defeated and still follows you around like a shadow. The Dream has a community, a ginormous one, but there is still a glass wall (yes, pun intended) between them and you for some reason. Besides, you want someone you can see not just in the Dream. You tell that to yourself.
You are in a dreamland, all alone.
One day there will be a conclusion to this story, which is about, if you haven’t guessed already, me in the Vocaloid fandom. Now it is unfinished. But I can imagine that someday, this will be a happy story, not a sad one.
This story was inspired by the song Glowlight, composed by Chie (DoNotCrossP) and sung by Megurine Luka V4 English.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ1S_6N8ds8
--------------------------
I wrote this a couple months ago (Note: in a Google Doc) and then kind of forgot about it. I found it again recently, and I could hardly believe I wrote it. I was going through that? Wow.
Since then, things have gotten much better. Using my blog, singingcomputers.blogspot.com, I’ve gotten better at my introduction, so most people don’t seem to not like it. I’ve gotten better at telling whether or not they do as well, and fitting it nicely into normal conversation. I’ve even met another Vocaloid fan IRL. One of my cousins seems to like the music as well, maybe I’ll get them into it sometime. I’ve made some cracks in the glass wall: I can comment on YouTube, I’m collaborating with a Vocaloid Producer, and I joined the Wiki discussions. I’m looking to become a Vocaloid Producer myself.
When I go to school this fall, I’ll have even more opportunity to find/make another Vocaloid fan.
--------------------------
I’m in public school now. I have regular readers on my blog, or at least I think I do… I can’t really tell, because no one comments, but oh well. I made a sticker of it for my computer, because aDvErTiSiNg, and have shared it with some of my classmates. The glass wall is near-entirely broken, and I’m starting to interact with other Vocaloid fans online. I’m sure I’ll be able to make/find another Vocaloid fan at public school as well. There are so many people there (about 2,000), so there must be someone who would like it. After all, I found another FMA fan on only my second day. So this story is not concluded yet, and I sense it may never be, but at least now it is past its climax. I’m okay with that.
Well, everyone is, really. Everyone has dreams, most of them unremarkable. Some they remember and dream again and again. People often explore their dreams, travelling far and wide, or maybe just making their home in a little niche. Sometimes they add new things to their dreams.
However, everyone seems to agree that, by far, the best thing to do with your dream is to share it with another person. Sure, they might not like it for one reason or another or no reason, but it is worth the risk to have someone dreaming the same dream, exploring and making with you.
If the dream is good enough, you share it with lots of people and make a community. Some of the best dreams are ones that have been built up by hundreds, or even thousands of people over years, or even decades.
One of your classmates at school shares a dream with you. She says it wasn’t her dream originally, that it’s one of the “community” dreams. You’re intrigued, so you try it.
You start out in her little niche. It’s pretty cool.
And then you start exploring.
OH MY MORALITY.
Why does she stay in that little space? You wonder this as you survey this dream. There’s SO MUCH in it! So many things that people have made, so much in the dream naturally. A gigantic community, more cool information than you can quantify. Amazing music, amazing art, amazing… Well, you should probably stop gushing about it, as you can’t even express it properly. And this is your first night.
Over the next six days, you dream that Dream, which you have now capitalized. You can’t wait to tell the friend who introduced you to it about what you saw. When you see her again, you-
She knows that all that exists. She doesn’t care about it. Her niche is her whole dream.
That’s what you find out, talking to her again. You are crushed. Who will you share this with? One of your other friends? Yes, you’ll introduce it to them, and then they’ll see the Dream like you do, and explore it with you. It’ll be amazing.
But as you recommend it to each of your friends, none of them likes it. “It just isn’t my thing.” “Cool. [switches topic].” “I don’t really understand…” It must be a problem with your introduction. Yes, that’s it. You refine it, taking out rough points. Still, you are alone.
Over the months, you explore the Dream more. It looks even more beautiful than when you first discovered it. You are obsessed, honestly, so much that you find it starting to invade your waking life. Since people are starting to get annoyed when you bring it up all the time in conversation, you write about it. Still unsatisfactory. You are torn between love for the Dream and the horrible loneliness. The love always wins out, but the loneliness is never truly defeated and still follows you around like a shadow. The Dream has a community, a ginormous one, but there is still a glass wall (yes, pun intended) between them and you for some reason. Besides, you want someone you can see not just in the Dream. You tell that to yourself.
You are in a dreamland, all alone.
One day there will be a conclusion to this story, which is about, if you haven’t guessed already, me in the Vocaloid fandom. Now it is unfinished. But I can imagine that someday, this will be a happy story, not a sad one.
This story was inspired by the song Glowlight, composed by Chie (DoNotCrossP) and sung by Megurine Luka V4 English.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ1S_6N8ds8
--------------------------
I wrote this a couple months ago (Note: in a Google Doc) and then kind of forgot about it. I found it again recently, and I could hardly believe I wrote it. I was going through that? Wow.
Since then, things have gotten much better. Using my blog, singingcomputers.blogspot.com, I’ve gotten better at my introduction, so most people don’t seem to not like it. I’ve gotten better at telling whether or not they do as well, and fitting it nicely into normal conversation. I’ve even met another Vocaloid fan IRL. One of my cousins seems to like the music as well, maybe I’ll get them into it sometime. I’ve made some cracks in the glass wall: I can comment on YouTube, I’m collaborating with a Vocaloid Producer, and I joined the Wiki discussions. I’m looking to become a Vocaloid Producer myself.
When I go to school this fall, I’ll have even more opportunity to find/make another Vocaloid fan.
--------------------------
I’m in public school now. I have regular readers on my blog, or at least I think I do… I can’t really tell, because no one comments, but oh well. I made a sticker of it for my computer, because aDvErTiSiNg, and have shared it with some of my classmates. The glass wall is near-entirely broken, and I’m starting to interact with other Vocaloid fans online. I’m sure I’ll be able to make/find another Vocaloid fan at public school as well. There are so many people there (about 2,000), so there must be someone who would like it. After all, I found another FMA fan on only my second day. So this story is not concluded yet, and I sense it may never be, but at least now it is past its climax. I’m okay with that.
If it is comments you require, then comments you shall have. And be careful with glass walls - you can cut your hands on the sharp edges when they break. Of course, a strategy might be to gather the shards of the wall and forge from them a sword that can never be broken save by someone getting to know you and involved in your community, in which case you no longer need the sword. Can I have some of those shards? This is a good idea.
ReplyDeleteHmm, this metaphorical glass wall doesn't really shatter all at once, into sharp pieces. It more gets slowly melted with the blowtorch of knowledge. That said, I would absolutely trade the blowtorch of knowledge with an unbreakable glass sword, if given the chance.
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